Two Geese + Two Goslings = Mayhem

     It’s simple math, Really.  You take two ganders and two geese, let them do their magic to produce goslings, and there will be mayhem. 
     In hindsight, I suppose the mayhem started last year with Frick and Barbie.  Frick was a boy and Barbie was a girl.  Everything was right at The Silver Maple.  Then spring came and Frick was found sitting on an egg.  I did a double take at it and then figured surely, he’s just confused…or keeping some of Barbie’s eggs warm while she went galavanting around.  Barbie, on the other hand, also looked to be laying eggs in the barn in one spot, while Alice hadn’t begun laying in her usual place yet.  I hadn’t actually seen Barbie laying them, but *pft* what else could have been happening?!
     After a few weeks, I had a sneaking suspicion…okay, I had to finally admit that something was amiss in the goose/gander sexing department.  I couldn’t deny it anymore.  I kept hearing Steven Tyler sing “Dude Looks Like A Lady” in my mind.  It seemed Frick was determined to lay eggs and hatch out goslings.  We had discussions about it, but it didn't matter. He was actually a she.  Out were the days of calling Frick things like “Mr. Frick” and “Frick-A-Saurus.”  In came the days of saying “Miss Frick and “Frick-A-Licious-Frick-A-Saur.”  Then there’s Barbie.  Barbie wasn’t laying the eggs in the barn like I had thought.  It was Alice.  She decided to give a few spots a try with eggs before settling on her regular nesting area.  So, Barbie was officially a boy.  Again, cue Steven Tyler singing.  GAH!
     Now, back to the mayhem of things.  Between Frick and Alice, we have 13 goslings running around.  A group of geese is called a gaggle, by the way, but around here it’s more like a posse of mayhem with Barbie and Moe in the lead. 
     Nothing is safe, whether it be bags of mulch they rip open or plants in pots they pull up.  Everything falls under their jurisdiction.  Nothing escapes their attention.  Sadly, I forgot that this morning.
     There I was, sitting on the patio, happily planting seeds in trays and labeling the rows for fall vegetables…spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage…  My stomach told me it was time for lunch so I left what I was doing and went inside.  Didn’t think anything of it.  Then…I heard the chaos.
     When I looked out the window I saw geese of various ages standing around my trays, two standing on top of them.  They were pulling the labels out, tossing them aside, then sticking their faces in the dirt, grabbing whatever they could with their mouths and dumping it out.  Then there were others that decided to play bobbing for strawberry plants that were rooting in a tub of water, grabbing those and tossing them onto the grass.  It was mayhem!  I should have known better.
     It’s now a mystery what kinds of seeds the trays hold, if they hold seeds at all, or if I’ll be trying to grow dirt for a few weeks before I realize cups are empty.  I suppose it’ll make things interesting…not that we’re ever really boring around here anyway.
     So, there you have it folks.  Feathered mayhem.  Oh, and while I’m thinking on it, we can’t keep all the mayhem.  Mayhem of this size will create even more mayhem in the spring and my plants won’t survive the insanity.  Therefore, we’ll be offering Certified Naturally Grown holiday goose this fall.  Only CNG goose you’ll find in the great state of Ohio that I know of.  Then come spring we’ll find Moe, Alice, Frick, and Barbie raising a new batch of mayhem.  Smiling & Waving, Sharon 

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