It's a rare occasion when I don't include a picture with a story, but I've decided to let you use your imagination on this one. You see, being a farmer isn't always glamorous. Sometimes it's a dirty job. Case in point, this evening.
There I was, out by the red barn doing chores, whistling away to California Dreaming by the Mamas & the Papas. Nothing unusual. I had just carried hay to the ewes, narrowly missing dumping it when I traversed the mud. Okay, so it's not all mud. I like my delusion of what is and is not in it - so for this story, it's just mud. After I got the hay where it needed to be, I thought I did good because I didn't get stuck. Next stop, the chicken coop.
As I walked out of the ewes stall and into the mud, all seemed okay. I did the normal walking routine - you know, one foot in front of the other. Problem was, when I put my right foot down my left foot should have been rising up into the air. Instead, my left foot got stuck in the mud. Then, ironically, my right foot also got stuck, so I was kind of in the motion of walking, but couldn't. I lost my balance and started waving my arms around like an overgrown turkey trying to take flight to keep my balance. That failed. Next thing I knew I was screeching and going down on my side. My feet were at an odd angle and were stuck inside my boots, which as you remember, were stuck in the mud.
After that, as I was wallering around in the mud like a hog, I had thought surely Young'un and Kid would have heard me (they were putting the turkeys in) and come over to help me out. No one came. That left me there on my own...stuck. It's amazing how much mud (yes, it was all mud) a person can get up their jacket and in their pants as they're laying there, rolling back and forth, trying to get unstuck. As the situation got dirtier, I decided maybe it was a good idea they didn't come at that point, because I figure one would have done a good show at "trying" to help me out while the other went for the camera.
I finally got a foot loose from my boot and there was only one place to put it. I had only wished I didn't have my slipper socks on because up until this evening they were pink...and there's not much pink around here. There was nothing I could do but stick my nice pink slipper sock in the mud (yes, that's all it was) and then start working on the other boot. Since I could finally move a bit better the other foot came out easier, although that slipper sock had to also go for a dip. At least once I got my feet out, I could finally stand up and begin tugging at my boots, which of course, held like they were glued to the ground until just the right amount of pressure was used on one and it sprang loose, flinging my backside back into the mud. It was quite graceful, I'd like to think. After that, the other boot came out a bit easier and it was back to finishing chores. I still had no idea where Young'un and Kid went to. I can tell you, there was no way my feet were going back in my boots. I finished my chores in my used to be pink slipper socks with the animals looking at me like I had lost my mind.
When I got in the house, the kids looked at me like...well, it's kind of hard to describe. I said, "Young'un, didn't you hear me out there?" To which he said, "Well, I heard you scream, but then Kid still needed my help with the turkeys..." Then Eldest said, "Oh man, I wish I knew what happened so I could have gotten the camera." It's nice to know their mother's welfare is first and foremost on their minds.
So, there you have it folks. No picture, but I figure I've given enough details for your imagination to run with it. I suppose this gave me an excuse to clean up and put my pajamas on early. My clothes are in the washer, but I suspect the slipper socks are not going to be what they were. I think my hat is still out there.... Smiling & Waving, Sharon
I'm the queen of our farm, although the animals haven't figured that out yet. My title is Head Chicken Wrangler, but most days I'm called Mom. Life is a comedy and I plan on documenting it.